Islam teaches us, through the Qur’an and Hadith, to value relationships above all else. Of all relationships, the focus falls more on mothers and parents. Furthermore, we understand that paradise lies at the feet of our mothers and our fathers are our door to Jannah. If this doesn’t emphasize the importance of parents, nothing else will!
Islam Defining Value of Mothers
First and foremost, let’s take a look at some Ayahs from various Surahs as well as Hadith about mothers.
- “And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bore him with hardship. And she brought him forth with hardship…” [Al-Ahqaf 46:15]
- “Say not to them a word of disrespect” [Al-Isra 17:23]
- “But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me and others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly” [Luqman 31:15] ( This ayah shows the importance of beginning good to them even when they are wrong)
- Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “A man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ The man asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ Again he asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your father.’”
- ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As (may Allah be pleased with them both) said: “A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and asked him for permission to participate in jihad. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to him, ‘Are your parents alive?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Then your jihad is with them.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 2842; Muslim, 2549)
These are just a few Islamic quotes about the parents but are enough to show that taking care of parents is one of our foremost duties.
What Your Mother Has Done for You
Sometimes, it is easy to forget what your mother did for you to bring you into this world. In addition to this, she works hard to raise you and nurture you into the person you are. When it is really difficult to be good to your mother, remind yourself of the following. After all, this is what a woman endures to birth a child:
Hormonal Changes During Pregnancy
Pregnant women go through sudden hormonal changes, and the key hormones are estrogen and progesterone. That’s not all, various hormones fluctuate throughout as the pregnancy progresses. While it does contribute to the ‘glow’, and aids the fetus (you), it also contributes to terrible mood swings. It may not seem like a big deal but constant mood changes can be draining and tiring. Moreover, it can impact relationships.
Weight Gain, Fluid Retention, and More!
Pregnant women also gain a certain amount of weight. This can make it difficult for them to perform physical activities. Furthermore, it reduces the circulation of blood and other bodily fluids. Consequently, they face swelling and immense pain in their feet. This often begins in the second trimester and continues.
Some women may also experience nearsightedness during pregnancy. It usually returns after giving birth. The worst of these changes are those of taste and smell. It can cause them to dislike their favourite foods and prefer odd food combinations. Moreover, they feel nauseated and vomit often. In severe cases, they may not retain food.
In addition to the above, they have to go through many other physical changes. Breathing difficulties, temperature changes, hyperthermia, and dehydration are all usual too.
If that’s not bad enough, there are immense neurological changes.
Your mother has gone through so much to give birth to her world. And many of these are temporary changes too, especially brain changes. So once she becomes your mother, there is no going back for her. You may move on in life, change, and grow, but it is not the same for your mother! The fathers on the other hand, also go through many changes.
What the Quran Says About Mothers
If the science of motherhood is not enough, let’s take a look at what our Lord says in the Qur’an.
In Surah Al-Isra, ayah number 23:
“وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا”
The translation: “For your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him.” And honour your parents. If one or both of them reach old age in your care, never say to them even ‘ugh,’ nor yell at them. Rather, address them respectfully.”
The very next Ayah:
“وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًۭا”
This translates to ‘And lower to them the wing of humility, out of mercy, and say, “My Lord, have mercy on both of them as they raised me when I was a child.”
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’Ala tells us to honour our parents, avoid using harsh words and address them respectfully. Additionally, He taught us a beautiful Dua for parents.
When in Pain
While we discuss what blessings our parents are to us, we need to acknowledge that not everyone has the same blessings. On the contrary, some people encounter pain, abuse, and worse at the hands of their parents. If this is the case for you, how do you continue respecting your parents? Well, it is all about perspective. What you need to consider is your duty to your parents and Allah. Perhaps, your parents may have failed in their duty, but that doesn’t mean you should too. You should strive to be a better son or daughter and work hard to be a better parent.
At the end of the day, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala wouldn’t leave us so many reminders in the Qur’an to be considerate of parents if it were easy, would He?
As Muslims, we should all focus on strengthening our resolve to do our duty. Also, our responsibility is to be diligent, respectful, and kind to all of our relationships.
Undoubtedly, it can be difficult to be good to parents, especially if they are still hurting you. Instead of allowing the hurt and anger to overwhelm you, look for inspiration in the Qur’an. We have been given the examples of Pharaoh, Noah (A.S), Azar, Asiyah (A.S), David and Solomon (A.S), and even Ibrahim (A.S). Moreover, their stories and roles as parents and dealing with their parents are wonderful lessons for us.
Moses (A.S) had a tyrant for a father and yet he spoke without disrespect and disobeyed him for the sake of Allah. When it is not easy to deal with our parents, we should contemplate the examples of these amazing Prophets of Islam. Besides, they teach us to put our feelings aside as our duties and responsibilities come above all else.
Islam will teach you more about parent-child relationships. But to do that efficiently and without bias you need to be able to access primary sources of data. In this case, it is the Qur’an and to read it, you need to learn Arabic. In this day and age, we can learn the Qur’an online no matter where in the world we live. If you’re ready to read Quran online, you need a Quraan Teacher. We focus on teaching the Quran to children and take online Quran classes in UK. Begin your lessons today and start your journey to understanding the Holy Qur’an.